


We Can Meet With A Smile

by Bamsbutt



Category: GOT7
Genre: AU, Angst, Jinyoung is an aspiring musician, M/M, OMG so much angst, Yugyeom is a popular dancer, im sorry, just a warning, this doesnt have a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 08:06:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11309223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bamsbutt/pseuds/Bamsbutt
Summary: Jinyoung didn't expect to see Yugyeom at his performance. He hadn't expected him to reach out to him.All Jinyoung could do was smile, and pretend seeing him again didn't hurt his heart.





	1. But Today, I Smile

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this bc I smile by Day6 hurt my heart  
> You should probably listen to it while reading this, but you don't have to.  
> I'm warning you now that this doesn't have a happy ending. I'm sorry.

The day had started like any other. With no indication of the clouds that were hanging over the horizon. Nothing to warn of the rain that was ahead, that was returning after the long drought. The storm that would come, with a heavy downpour, flooding into his life before disappearing again, leaving a mess that he would have to clean up. A mess that would take weeks; months to clear. Needing to open up all the doors of his heart to air it out, to evaporate the water that had come so suddenly, to dry all the floors, dispose of everything that wasn’t salvageable. To let go of what he had lost.

The day had started like any other. Jinyoung rubbed his eyes sleepily, rising from his bed with a tired yawn and a heavy sigh. The life of a struggling musician was not an elegant one, but even so, he loved what he did and he wouldn’t change it for anything. He spent most of the morning practising on his piano, his hands stroking over the keys with love and gentle passion forming the melody of his thoughts.

His usual routine was to spend half the time practising, and using the rest to compose new songs, putting his feelings to paper in the form of words and notes. Today, however, his time was spent only on practice, in preparation for his performance later that evening.

He needed to be perfect. This gig could make his career if he played well enough. It was high class, with a long list of celebrities, the names of which he probably only knew about half. Also in the crowd though, would be many musicians and scouts looking for talent; talent Jinyoung wanted to show.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. It was no use dwelling on those things now, all he could do was practise and trust himself to play his heart out in the evening and hope that someone, anyone, would appreciate his talent.

He became focused once more, spinning the notes with his fingers, the matching words dancing on his tongue as he sung both covers and original songs. His heart getting lost in the emotions his songs evoked, going back to the memories that had inspired them. A glimpse of an autumn tree, and a tall, pretty boy flashing into his mind. The scene of them lying together on the red leaves, words of love and caresses of affection exchanged between the two.

He should have seen the sign. Should have seen it for the warning it was, but Jinyoung just growled, running his hand through his hair to rid himself of the image of the sweet boy who still owned a piece of his heart. The sweet boy who was probably unaware of the ownership he had.

His eyes glanced to the clock, realising he needed to start getting ready if he wanted to arrive on time (which he did. He was nothing, if not professional). He left the piano, piling together the scores he would need for the performance before heading into the shower.

He scrubbed himself clean under the gentle droplets, not letting his mind wander as he dried himself off, dressing in his black suit and dabbing make up onto his face. He styled his hair back, and took in his appearance with a straight face and a keen eye. He was only able to find unfixable flaws, sighing before leaving his home.

Everything was going fine. He arrived at the venue, spending a few minutes being run through the sequence of the night, getting the feel of the provided grand piano; his hands drifting through his rehearsal as he took in the feeling of this new instrument, gauging its cadence. He felt the music reverberate through his body, moving his heart in ways that weren’t purely physical.

He nodded to himself, content with the beautiful, black piano. It held a small part of his chances of being noticed tonight, though he knew never to blame his failures on his instrument.

He left the piano behind, until later, when his true performance would be shown.

He waited, unaware of the approaching storm. The first half of his evening was spent in the green room, waiting for his call to perform. After this he was allowed to mingle and take part in the event but until then, all he could do was wait and dwell. He had no knowledge of the event, except that there were many high class people in the large ballroom. High class people who could end his career, if they so wished. Could bring his dreams crashing on a whim. He tried not to think of that.

His mind drifted instead to the tall, pretty boy from earlier. It wasn’t uncommon for his brain to dredge up these images, like it didn’t hurt his heart every single time. Like he didn’t still have feelings for him. Like he could ever have him back.

Even though it had been more than five years, he still had trouble sleeping, remembering the brilliant smile of the boy. His puppy like actions and his heart as soft as clouds. He still had trouble sleeping as he remembered how he felt, curled up against him. How he smelt, as if the scent still lingered on his pillow.

How he’d cried when they had parted.

He looked up sharply as his name was called, signaling his performance. Sighing, he shook the tension out of his shoulders as he left the room, walking onto the stage and taking his seat. He took a deep breath, gazing into the crowd just before he began.

His hands almost slipped on the keys when he noticed him.

The tall, pretty boy who never left his thoughts. Time slowed down as he saw him, the smile falling from his face.

He was just standing there, talking to someone. Some man that Jinyoung didn’t know. Didn’t care to know.

His eyes stayed on the tall, pretty boy as he opened his mouth and began to sing. It was fitting that the song had been written about him. Had been written for him.

As soon as his voice rang out, the sweet boy’s eyes met his. His head snapping around so quickly that Jinyoung was worried he had snapped it, but he just continued staring. They stared right into each other’s eyes, hardly blinking until the song ended. The rain came down heavy, drenching him from head to toe as he tried to keep his head above the tide. He couldn’t do this now, not when there was so much riding on him to do well. He couldn’t falter.

Jinyoung broke eye contact to catch his breath, willing his lungs to respire. Needing to breathe through the shock and heartache that was currently residing in his chest.

He didn’t make eye contact through the next song, after which, his performance was over. He walked off the stage as calmly as his legs would allow him, taking a few minutes to breathe before he made himself join the festivities.

He wanted to just stay back and hide away until it was over, but he couldn’t. He needed to be available in case anyone wanted to give him work. He could only hope that the tall, pretty boy would know to leave him alone. Would know to spare him the pain of speaking to him again.

He never was a very good swimmer - especially in flood water - he could only pray that he was good enough at pretending. Pretending that he had plenty of air, and that the boy hadn’t taken it with him when they had parted ways all those years ago.

He found himself out in the fray, talking to a lovely woman, a drink in his hand and a smile on his face. She was asking about his work and what his plans were, and he was secretly hoping she would offer him a job. Before he could find out though, the thunder rang out. Loud and booming in his ears as he flinched away.

“Jinyoung.”

A soft voice called his name from a few paces away, and Jinyoung fought the urge to flee. To run and hide under his duvet until the storm had passed.

Instead, he excused himself from the lady in front of him, turning to face the tall, pretty boy.

“Yugyeom.”

He breathed. His head spun as he took in the boy in front of him. Somehow he’d gotten even taller. His face was heavily made up, eyeliner framing the corner of his eye perfectly. His face was just a beautiful as Jinyoung remembered, his soft cheeks that bubbled with his smile, the strands of hair that brushed over his forehead.

It hurt so much, just to have him standing there. In front of him. All Jinyoung needed to do was reach out his hand and he would be able to touch him.

But he couldn’t. Their time was over and he knew it.

So Jinyoung plastered a smile onto his face. Even though it hurt, he would smile through the pain, smile through the storm.

The rain fell heavier, soaking through the earth and dredging up old emotions from the roots.

“I didn’t know you were going to be here. Look how far you’ve come.”

Jinyoung beamed. He didn’t want the younger boy to notice. Notice that he still missed him. Everyday he yearned for his arms and his warmth and his lips.

“You’ve done so much since I last saw you in college.”

“Yeah, I got lucky I guess.”

Yugyeom faltered. Whatever it was though, he shook himself out of it quickly.

“I know - um - I know you don’t have a lot of time for me, now that you’re a hot shot musician and all… I was hoping though that we could maybe catch up? Get coffee or something…?”

Yugyeom uttered, his hand moving to scratch behind his head.

“Oh.”

This was sudden. Did he want to rekindle their relationship? Surely he must know they couldn’t. Their paths were too separate, they’d decided back in college.

But how could Jinyoung refuse? How could he say no?

“Of course.”

He found himself saying, his mouth betraying him. The smile still glued to his face. As if nothing had happened between them. None of the heartbreak or the loss or the anger.

Jinyoung could feel the rain now, seeping into his skin. The cold washing over him.

“Great.”

Yugyeom nodded, smiling again.

It was still the same, Jinyoung realised. He still had the same beautiful smile. The one that lit up his face and made his features glow with warmth. The one that warmed Jinyoung’s heart and made it melt, fighting away the freezing rain. In that moment, Jinyoung wanted nothing more than to tell him to come back, to stay with him, right now. That they should never have parted in the first place. That they could make it work, sort out their lives to make it work.

He didn’t, instead he said,

“My number’s still the same. Just send me a message.”

Before walking away. Stepping back into the crowd before he said something he would regret.


	2. Until The End, I Pretend That I’m Fine

Sometimes flooding can be avoided, by setting your foundations high enough above sea level, or by setting up warning systems, and putting up flood barriers.

However Jinyoung had done none of these since he and Yugyeom had parted ways the first time. His heart was still in his chest, low enough to be affected by the rising waters. His warning systems had clearly not worked - though Jinyoung was unsure how they were supposed to - and his heart was too open. Too ready to accept Yugyeom back into his life. Trying desperately to convince his brain that it would work. That it would be fine. As if nothing had happened between them.

Jinyoung had received a message from Yugyeom the next day, asking when he was free to meet up. So they arranged a time, and a place to meet. It was an old cafe where they used to meet up at, back when they were still in college. Before they decided to go their separate ways.

There had been nothing too dramatic about their breakup. They had mutually agreed that their relationship wouldn’t work out with their careers. Realising they would have to pick, they both chose to follow their dreams.

The rain didn’t come until later. The pain didn’t come until later.

It came in sprinkles, like an autumn shower. Just little things that hit hard for Jinyoung. Coming home and not having to kick Yugyeom’s shoes into the shoe rack because he never bothered to put them away properly, passing their meeting tree on his way to work and realising it looked wrong without the black haired boy reclined against it with his hands in his pockets cooly, waiting for him.

When he curled into his empty bed, missing the warmth beside him, and the strong arms that had wrapped around him. It hit him in the little places, the light droplets landing on his face as he shuffled through the unexpected rain.

Even now he had trouble sleeping without hearing the soft, steady breathing of the boy who owned his heart.

 

He sat patiently, in the back corner of the cafe, waiting for Yugyeom. He was consumed with emotions, half excitement and half fear, unable to control the feelings for the boy who had swept back into his life unexpectedly.

He looked up anxiously every time the little bell above the door rang out, announcing another customer. He’d been sat in the cafe for fifteen minutes already, having arrived early thanks to the nerves buzzing around his body.

He checked his watch again, noticing that Yugyeom should be arriving soon, if he was punctual.

It was a few minutes later when the tall boy made it through the door, Jinyoung looking up sharply at the ringing bell and meeting his eyes. He hung his head awkwardly, he didn’t want the younger to know how he felt.

He looked up again, meeting the tall boy’s gaze once more. He hid his emotions behind a bright smile. He had to smile, even if it hurt.

Yugyeom walked over, sitting across from him with his choco shake. He’d hardly changed, still gulping down the beverage as he used to. The only visible difference was his fancy clothes, and the new style of make up that was adorned his face. It looked good on him, but Jinyoung missed the boy he’d loved. The boy he still loved.

“Jinyoungie, It’s nice to see you.”

The younger smiled, tipping his head to the side slightly, his eyes closing with the rise of his cheeks. It was incredibly endearing, Jinyoung decided, his heart fluttering in his chest.

He couldn’t do this, he had to pretend everything was okay, that these small things didn’t affect him as much as they did. He didn’t know when he would be able to see Yugyeom again. It he didn’t want to spend the whole time yearning for the past.

It might only be sometimes that he gets to see Yugyeom, and he wanted to enjoy it.

So he agreed. Agreed that it _was_ nice to see him, smiling back as they continued to talk, catching up on what they’d been doing in the last five years since they split.

Yugyeom had graduated a year after Jinyoung, and was straight into a company, having been scouted at one of his school performances. He’d worked hard and made a name for himself quickly. His dancing skills and tenacity to work hard, not giving in until he was perfect meant he had become popular quickly. His cute face and perfect body had also helped immensely. (Jinyoung tried not to feel jealousy over all the girls swooning over him. He didn’t have any claim over him anymore, but that didn’t stop him wanting to pull Yugyeom into his arms and hide him from sight.)

They were together in the cafe for a few hours, just talking and catching up and it was nice. Jinyoung had missed it. Talking to his best friend, being able to just smile at Yugyeom’s jokes and daft plots. He missed it so much.

It was almost as if nothing had happened, as if he was doing fine. As if Yugyeom’s laughter didn’t tear a hole through his chest and make him feel as if he was drowning. As if there wasn’t enough air when he wasn’t around. As if he could only breathe properly when the younger was here.

He was so afraid that he wouldn’t be able to escape again, now that he was here. That he would let himself be pulled away by the tide that was Kim Yugyeom, and swept back into what they had.

 

The tide came up too high, when Yugyeom suddenly turned serious. His bright sunny laughter dying down a his eyes became intense.

“Jinyoung, I miss you.”

He uttered, looking up through his eyelashes, his hands fiddling nervously in his lap.

“Yugyeom-”

“No, wait, just hear me out. I’m part of a company now, I have a name. I have influence. I could get you a job at our company, composing music, doing what you always wanted to do. Performing for people just like you did the other night.”

He said determinedly, and Jinyoung was so tempted. So tempted to just accept his offer. His life would be so much easier and simpler if he was just part of a big company. Others controlling his schedules.

That’s not how Jinyoung wanted to do things though.

He wanted to do things as Yugyeom had done, getting by on his own merit and making his own name heard, rather than jumping onto the back of a bigger company.

“We could be together again.”

Yugyeom added, his voice soft and full of emotion.

If Jinyoung was honest, all he wanted to say was _‘Come back, right now. Come back to me and we can be together,’_ but he couldn’t.

“Yugyeom, I- I can’t.”

He stuttered out, unable to meet his eyes, searching for a way to explain himself.

But he couldn’t find the words.

He expected the younger to argue, to demand _why not_ , but all he received was silence. He supposed Yugyeom still knew him well enough to know that arguing would reach no end.

He heard a sigh.

 

“Okay.”

Was all Yugyeom said, before going back to their previous conversation, acting like nothing had happened. They continued to talk for a while more, before they realised it was getting late. Yugyeom needed to return to his company, and Jinyoung had important things to do (the important things were _not_ eating ramyeon and reading till late into the night, he was more put together than that. At least, that’s what he told himself)

They hesitated at the door, not wanting to let each other go. Jinyoung didn’t want to say goodbye, but he smiled anyway. Even though it hurt.

He knew once he let Yugyeom leave and return to his busy and amazing life he would be left to clear the mess of his heart. He desperately wanted to hold onto the pretty boy that had once again turned his life upside down.

He wouldn’t though. He had to let go.

So he did, smiling and giving a small wave as they parted, turning to as they went their separate ways.

Almost like a movie, parting in equal distances until they lost sight of each other, turning the corner, or crossing the road.

Ignorant to the fact that they would never meet again.

 

_But today, I smile_

_Even though it hurts, I smile_

_Until the end_

_I pretend that I’m fine_

_I pretend that I’m okay_

_I have to_

 

_After we say goodbye_

_My smile will disappear_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me, if you did <3 <3  
> Sorry about the pain

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it so far, chapter 2 will probably be up in a couple of days <3  
> I tried a new style of writing with this fic as well, let me know if its okay? :)


End file.
